as I lie awake in some circumstance where circumcised and the un roam in docking paradise, it’s not pornographic, but kind of funny. The foamy mouth’s underlying wastebasket underpinnings resemble the wettest of dingleberries, combed out fresh in the morning by the fauna whom later touch your face, ever so gently squeezing out the aching three day old acne that squirts a mist of fine, mystifyingly blood-tinged, oily build up.
First of all, the Germans need to chill the fuck out with the Obama reference. I don’t care what cultural idiosyncrasy is used to mitigate German behavior, their history of racial intolerance combined with a direct diss of our President is unacceptable. If you think I’m overreacting go ask a German dude what they call Hip Hop & R & B? They call it “Black” music, officially, like, if you go to their CD stores you will see a section called “black”, there are no qualms about it. We have a patriotic responsibility to demonstrate our deprecation, I encourage you to take action. Personally, I’m not going to push German artists for a while, sorry Snowgoons, but we bleed white and blue, not just red.
On the flip side of the responsibility scale, we need to do a better job of not cultivating popular stereotypes. For example, the quintessential, black people love chicken! Unfortunately we got too much new stupid money walking around bolstering the archaic boilerplate. Peep the following quote from a gossip blog regarding Kanye freaking at a recent charity show:
“Kanye walked in and noticed a guy eating chicken. He took offense and blurted petulantly ‘Why wasn’t I offered chicken? It’s not fair – you want me to perform for free – everyone is eating – why am I not eating?’
Kanye typically does not shy away from his modest roots, often proclaiming his appreciation of things hood, including fried chicken whilst in Hong Kong on his blog last year. But acting like a petulant child post-Taylor Swift in regards to fried chicken is just reckless. So while Kanye gives more fodder to the masses of racists out there, I challenge you to stay away from the chicken in type casted scenarios.
New Motto: Don’t eat the chicken, Fuck it.
For the privacy of your own home, a bomb fried chicken recipe after the jump
LA is so very far from where I am; not only have I never ventured further west in this lovely country of ours than Cook County, Illinois, but I also am a closet Oakland (Fremont?) A’s fan. What other closet things am I you ask, Dave O? That’s for another time an place. Anyhoo, if all goes well, I intend to one day visit the lovely city that houses Los Lakers, Los Clippers, and hopefully some bangin’ Mexican füd.
Where am I at? Why, The Eastern Shore of Maryland! Home of the Delmarva Shorebirds (Class A affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles) Unlike most shitty sports-related columns, I will not be able to provide visual masturbatory fodder to help make my asinine self-aggrandizing predictions and opinions seem more palatable. Rather, I’ll suggest you head over to this very NSFW site (it’s fucking gross, but after a few spins loses all its luster) to occupy your desensitized mind.
So, new BK-One will just HAVE to do (big ups to Molmos & Lexington Steele for the heads up):
Snoop Dogg now goes by “Niggarachi“? Fucking sweet.
