What The Fuck Has Happened To Hip-Hop

New York, New York, how many L’s are you going to take? What has happened to create a world where Soulja Boy can come at one of your most recognizable and successful names, call him a fag, challenge him to written and freestyle battles, and the response is “I don’t have a problem with Soulja Boy”, and then a couple of lame ass tweets? Let’s break this bullshit down piece by piece.

Fabulous, like tons of other people, made some jokes about the Kat Stacks, Soulja Boy drama on twitter. Quotes courtesy of Hip Hop DX:

Fabulous: “Lettin Kat Stacks in ur hotel room alone is #StupidBoySwag.. *All u rappers pay attention, that right there is called#StupidBoySwag* AYYYY”

Kinda funny, but nothing really that memorable. Yet for some reason Soulja Boy took offense and had a lot to say in response:

Soulja Boy: “lol fuck that lame ass washed up rapper named fabolous thats a gay ass rap name anyway”

“I tell you what fabolous get yo weak ass on wax and spit them weak ass bars so I can shit on you boy”

“I will murder that nigga fab in a freestyle battle he garbage compared to soulja boy”

Those are some pretty bold words coming from a person that couldn’t write a verse that would have been acceptable in the 90’s if his life depended on it. Not only that, but from someone who had recently been aired out for being a limp dick premature ejaculator, which is a combination God didn’t even know existed. I mean one or the other isn’t that uncommon, but busting a nut before you get hard? That’s some shit.

Now Fab’s not just from New York, but from Brooklyn. A place that forever has talked about themselves as somewhere where you will be punched in the face for just looking at someone the wrong way. A place that has proclaimed themselves as the mecca of lyricism and true talent in rap. So one would assume that Fab would bring the situation into one of two scenarios:

1.  A Physical confrontation. Preferably involving Fabulous himself (I mean Soulja Boy looks like he’d be a maximum of 130 pounds after going on the Super Size Me diet), but most likely involving one his goons, like in the Kat Stacks situation where his brother beats on a girl.

2.   A rap beef. Where Fabulous takes these comments as inspiration to finally go off on the talentless fucks that New York has been bitching about for years. And no they aren’t talking about every Southerner Jay Electronica, just the pathetic excuses for MC’s. Fab, as a commercially successful rapper that’s plugged into the major media outlets actually has a golden opportunity to come out with something legit, and be a hometown hero. Prove the value of lyricism and wit on a wide scale.

Whichever path Fabulous chose, he wasn’t going to allow a man who refers to himself as a “Pretty Boy”, and rides around with Lil B, a man who refers to himself as a “Pretty Bitch”, call him gay right? Wrong. Loso did everything short of straight up apologizing to Mr. Tell ‘Em.

You can watch the whole interview if you want, but the important part is this quote about the Soulja Boy situation:

“Everybody knows what Kat Stacks does and what she’s about. It was just funny to me. I just did it out of good humor, I have nothing against Soulja Boy. Soulja Boy’s a talent, he’s young, he’s doing his thing as a young man in this industry…I had a little fun on Twitter, I have no beef with Soulja Boy, hopefully he doesn’t have a personal gripe or beef with me. It’s just in good humor, people joke with me all the time. They have a Fab chipped tooth page of me on Twitter.”

Men Who Stare at GOATs

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I dig the never-ending argument as to which rapper is the greatest. Souls of Mischief recently sounded off on their opinion. While I am a Souls fan, I disagree with almost everything they say in this piece. I have absolutely no gripe with them excluding Jay-Z, Nas and Lil Wayne from their personal lists but I just don’t think their claim that these guys have unequivocally failed to contribute anything original to the genre is not all that valid. Nevertheless, the video is definitely worth a scope.

And, as in any argument about the G.O.A.T., Soulja Boy gets his obligatory fulmination. He also, supposedly, went onto Youtube and ripped the Souls’ remarks on the comments board. However, those comments had been removed last time I checked.

Soulja Boy is getting married. Yeah, to a girl.

The 21st century is all about sensationalism and garbage. There’s no news anymore, just gossip and ‘leaks’. Some must really hate this plight of journalistic integrity. I’m sure students at liberal arts colleges across the country waste a plethora of hard earned money and oxygen on in depth discussions about the analogous relationship between the status quo and the end game of many failed civilizations. I disagree. I put forth the following alternative illustration of the now. Oh, after watching some video of Soulja boy’s new wifey-to-be flexing and stretching (our members, that is!).

Ok back to a pretty emphatically specious point. Globalization, specifically the expeditious proliferation of technology, leveled the proverbial playing ground. All of a sudden shepherds on a random Pakistani mountainside were empowered with the ability to take down a U.S. Army helicopter with the help of an RPG and a willing shoulder. Let alone use Microsoft software to fly 747′s into the WTC on 9/11. Online file sharing is often underestimated in the sense that it’s not just files being shared, it’s ideas. We live in a world where a blog post can have a ripple effect beyond the imagination of any embedded CNN reporter. A world where the need to verify news has been eliminated by prioritizing the immediacy of reporting the story itself. Time is everything, it’s a tweet world, 150 characters or less please. So when Media Takeout, the world’s most visited ‘urban’ site, reported on Soulja Boy proposing to video shrew Rosa Acosta, bloggers and newscasters across the country gleefully cried for joy.

The important point I’m not trying to make is this: The story is bigger than the truth, so enjoy the story about this young union of pretty ‘urban’ people, 50 years ago you would have heard about their marriage after the fact sans hot as fuck jpegs of Rosa.

An absurd amount of Rosa content after the jump. Tell your spank bank I said “it’s welcome.”

The Juiceman Cometh

When you blog, you’re constantly scouring the internuts for an almond and when you do it as much as ZIF does, you see names of artists but don’t necessarily get time to actually hear anything to put a voice to the name. But, as a blogger it is, to some extent, your responsibility to spread the word around about up-and-comers.

That being said, I sometimes go through the jam-packed rolodex of my brain and look for a rapper who has a name I like. A little shallow I suppose, so sue me.

One my favorite names in a while OJ Da Juiceman, has recently been gaining steam. He’s rolling with the Gucci Mane camp and has already released a hefty quantity of mixtapes.

So I bumped it…mehhhh. Really nothing special but it is a great name nonetheless.

Please Check Swagger’s Fluid Levels

 

Don’t get me wrong, Jake and I especially have been huge Soulja Boy supporters amidst backpacker elitism and archaic rapper fulminations. However, this remix of “Turn My Swag On” assisted by Lil Wayne bloooooows! Wayne, I feel, needs to just relax and maybe take a weekend off, watch a little TV but just lay off of guest spots.
But, this is the American judicial system–innocent until proven guilty, so we’ll allow you to download “Turn My Swag On” feat. Lil Wayne to judge for yourself.