Yo Lebronda! Too Many Urkels On Your Team, That’s Why Your Wins Low

Catch that “game” last night? Yeah, neither did the Heat. It’s funny that I thought my own personal hate for the Miami Heat, WAS in fact personal. Of course it wasn’t , and here is a great picture thread showing the creative extent of the Miami Heat hatred. In other hip hop/Dallas Mavericks news, Birdman lost a cool 2 million bucks on the Heat series, and Dallas rapper Dorrough looks like he want to parlay this franchise success into a franchise of his own.

Man I really can’t stand that team. Here is one more little dig, Deshawn Stevenson (Mavericks guard) wore a t-shirt to an after party yesterday, it had a pun, for those of you who can’t read the blurry TMZ pic, it says:

Hey Lebron! How’s My Dirk Taste?

Man I love a good pun. Somewhere out there Souljah Boy is reminding anyone who will listen that Deshawn Stevenson is his boy. In that same breath, somewhere out there Jay-Z is sleeping peacefully, resting his head on the lap of a goddess. The world goes on…

Ballin Chain: Souljah Boy

Toys = Something different in his world

Let me just start this one off with, “Hi, haters…” Few people in the industry can polarize a crowd like Soulja Boy. Either you love him (like me—dude basically drops straight anthems on the reg) or you take yourself too seriously and you hate him (no talent, “hes-a-bitch,” etc, etc.) You can hate on him if you like but I defy you to not be singing along to some—“i miss you i miss you i really wanna kiss you but I–” Damn, sorry bout that, shit just creeps in sometimes.

Few people in the biz can spend money like Beezy, though. Gotta tip the cap for his incorporation of a fucking Segway into a rap video. His chains could probably keep me writing for a month, but I love this one below: The Black Diamond Lambo Remote Control Chain. As you hopefully have noticed, this column doesn’t fuck with chains that aren’t the shit.

This chain of Soulja’s represents the lovable childish irreverence that we have come to expect from him, as well as being simply bad-ass. A remote-control chain??? Shit is absurd. It’s a mini-Lambo made of black diamonds modeled after his real-life Black Lambo that actually goes in response to a remote control. Maybe a casting for Soulja Boy in the next Glengarry Glen Ross? (“See this little car on my chain…it’s worth more than your real car…”)

Whether or not Soulja Boy is creative in his music is debatable. Whether he is creative in how he spends money is not. He could give seminars on how to drop dough. Case in point : this chain. Peep this video and watch Beezy get silly driving around his ballin’ chain.

So you can Swag Surf! Have You Tried Boogie Boarding 9000?

Hiding behind bling? You need more people...!

A few months back I wrote a post about rap that was very much connected to a specific dance or set of choreographed moves. Sometimes the dance has an extremely positive complementary effect with the track. At times the dance and the lyrical content are literally conjoined. The lyrics become a DIY instructional audio kit that guides your limbs into anticipatory positions throughout the track. I tabbed this type of rap genre, “D-Craze”, because once you start getting down with the moves, you’ll be mad for the track. I’ve been in a club recently where I saw some swag surfing going down in unison amongst a bunch of dudes, wasn’t that corny actually.

Illinois rapperĀ Mr CG is only 19 so probably hasn’t seen his dance in the club circuit yet, but I assure you, it’s going down. I am under the impression that that the only skill Mr CG is excellent at is self promotion. He has generated a signficant amount of MySpace hype and has got YouTube going nuts with boogie board submissions. D-Craze has its place in rap, no doubt about that. Any type of music that has clubs bumping and the youth grooving in unison is certified by those who count in this game. For the Mr CG’s of this world, I say to you this; “good luck on finding the next Crank Dat, because it’s more than likely that you’ll be swag surfing or boogie boarding yourself into oblivion. In the D-Craze game it’s not about fortitude, it’s about relevance, how much does the youth feel your shit. Here’s hoping that whether its surfing or boogie boarding the music keeps up with the dance moves, right now it’s a hare versus a turtle, and we all know how that turned out.

MPFREE: Mr CG – Boogie Board 9000