It’s That Time Of Year

I know a part of the problem is that I am slowly becoming a curmudgeon, being an 80’s baby now has its archaic qualities I suppose. But for Christ’s sake, this is the same guy who once laced Goodie Mob with hooks so ill, The Deadliest Catch crew wouldn’t have known what to do with them. Now he’s pasted in a Santa outfit spewing holiday jargon with a bunch of Muppets. Ugh, tack this up on the dartboard along with Andre 3000’s non-stop pursuit of the perfect Gillette ad and Dr Dre’s undying effort to push Dr Pepper. It’s that time of year I guess, where puppets and Muppets sell music and everything else under the sun. If you’re going to go there, go there, like Kid did.

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Fatty Boom Boom

What you’ll see in this video:

  1. A depiction of what an urban street in South Africa must look like to an ignorant hick from Alabama
  2. White people with full body paint, including some ‘blackface’ action
  3. A gynecological scene that features the “birth” of a prawn from a human vagina (based on Vagina Prawn scene from ‘Black Gynaecologist’ by Anton Kannemeyer)
  4. A real lion appearing to eat a not-so real Lady Gaga

And not for one moment will you be offended. That is the magic of Die Antwoord, intent on shocking you, yet failing miserably to raise a goose bump. This track is off their second studio album, Ten$Ion, which dropped in January of this year. The reception has been muted at best, a potential reason why may be the widely shared thoughts of Andrew Ryce over at Pitchfork. 

Feel free to receive your daily dose of ZEF @DieAntwoord

Jehovah’s Witnesses Spank Their Monkeys In Silence

Hopefully you let me provide you with some context prior to watching the video. So, Jehovah’s Witnesses are not just lurking on your porch at 5AM on your favorite sleep-in day, they also have a website (jw.org) and they produce videos promoting their very serious message. Some of these videos are designed to teach their mission to deaf people, in this series of videos, there was one intent on teaching the acoustically impaired the importance of abstaining from masturbation, all in sign language! You can see the original video here, video # 22. Well, it was only a matter of time until it got redone and mashed with an R Kelly track, right? Now you can view that video above in all of its glory. It’s definitely gone viral, search on YouTube for various versions if you so desire.

Insane in the Chromatophores

Kudos to the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. In what I am assuming was some academically justifiable research, this squid was hooked up to a special IPOD bumping Cypress Hill’s “Insane In The Brain”. For the record, squid do not possess ears persay, but they do have the ability to be stimulated by sounds via impulses or something or other. Here’s an explanation of what you are seeing from some white coats.

The video is a view through an 8x microscope zoomed in on the dorsal side of the caudal fin of the squid. We used a suction electrode to stimulate the fin nerve. Chromatophores are pigmeted cells that come in 3 colors: Brown, Red, and Yellow. Each chromatophore is lined with up to 16 muscles that contract to reveal their color.

In other words, the illest observation of calamari rap ever!

Okay, enough of my scientific ineptitude, here’s a link to a conclusive scholarly report about this study at Neural Control of Tuneable Skin Iridescence in Squid! (via brainpicker)

Azealia Banks Is Still Here, Twitter Not So Much

“I’m a Young Black American Woman in 2012. I’m a 21-yr-old millionaire. i don’t have to prove myself to anyone… I’ve already paid my dues. I and the generations of women who came before me have been through enough stress and c**p to warrant me (the new generation) a very illustrious, lucrative, luxurious, STRESS-FREE career & life.”

That was a quote from Azealia Banks on her recent Tumblr activity whereby she pulled the “I’m done with rap” card. Ah, Azealia, Azealia, how uncomfortably predictable of you. She also fired her manager who was also Lady Gaga’s manager and deleted her Twitter account, complaining about how accessible the social media platform had made her. Though this is true for all of us, isn’t it the responsibility of a major label artist to produce said social media content? She complains on her Tumblr about not listening to “bloggers” who don’t have “real jobs” and then rants about how lucrative her manufactured image/brand/music has made her. Maybe it was the recent Kanye West beat hoax where she thought she was getting a Kanye beat and tweeted about it, only to find out it was a no-go. Personally I think she is having a bit of a manic episode, one that will most likely drop into a depressive state, at which point you may see it all Tumblr down. For now, get your “Kunt Fix” at her non-annoying social media locations: Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram.

Remember she’s a self declared millionaire and has an upcoming hip hop/rap mixtape about to be released, oh yeah, also has a world tour commencing. She seems to be doing just fine…

 Taken Hours Ago via Instagram

Brazilian Rapper X Brazilian Footballer [Emicida X Neymar]

When I think Brazil, I think soccer or futbol, that and beaches with scantily clad Brazilians. For big time soccer fans, watching the Brazilian league is secretly where it’s at, somewhat like watching games at Rucker Park for basketball fans. The league is full of fancy footwork and goals galore, a few stars as well. One said star is Neymar (yes, the one name thing is big there), known for his outstanding gamesmanship playing for the club team Santos (talk of him moving to Manchester United is buzzing right now), you may also recognize him from countless Nike commercials. As for the rapper, his name is Emicida, and has officially graduated to above ground status as of late, punctuated by his recent deal with Rockstar Games to fill out the Max Payne 3 soundtrack. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Diplo throw him some love, considering his love for Brazil and all. The video features Emicida showing why he’s all that in Brazil, and Neymar demonstrating his ability to karate chop his way out of situations that don’t involve a spotted ball. (Check out those spotted ball skills after the jump).

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Sean Price Enjoys Long Walks In The Park

Sean Price is dropping his album titled Mic Tyson next month. In the meantime, he/Duck Down Records is releasing videos of music that WILL NOT be featured on the album. In other words, Duck Down wanted to generate a viral video to promote the album as well as the free show in Betsy Head Park tomorrow (see flyer). Thing is, when you try and make things “go viral” they inevitably fall astronomically short. Sorry Buckshot, but random clips of unicorns shooting rainbow farts or midgets on miniature ponies just doesn’t do it anymore, we’ve all been there and seen that. How about that free concert though? NY shows kill LA shows, seriously.

Indecent Proposal [The Jay Electronica Affair]

Ben and Kate Goldsmith are getting divorced! Not sexy enough of a headline for you? How about this? Rothschild heiress set for divorce after year long love session with Jay Electronica! Yeah, that’s better. When I came across this story (thank you Lady T) I was stunned by some of the juicy morsels embedded within this story. First of all, the married couple in question are the Goldsmiths, Ben, the son of the late tycoon Jimmy Goldsmith; his wife Kate is a descendant of the notable Rothschild family. In old school European terms, this couple was as close to royalty as one can get without winning the Prince Harry sweepstakes. Money wise they rivaled many a royal family within the Old Continent, when Ben’s father passed away in 1997, he inherited upwards of 600 million dollars, fat stacks brother. In addition they look to be a pretty palatable couple, I know uber rich couples all look the same after a while, but with Ben making the family millions, and Kate left to explore her artistic side with music, this has come as quite a shock for the gossip thirsty country to say the least.

 Ah, the music production angle. Now it starts to make a little sense. Jay Electronica is an eclectic guy (also a five percenter), his appreciation of the off beaten path can be seen in everything from his love interests (he has a child with Erykah Badu) to his music (the man has never released an LP). He moved to England over a year ago to explore creative interests overseas, a path often taken by rappers struggling to put out a final project. Apparently he linked up with Kate Goldsmith who has a sincere passion for her well funded career in music production. She runs a record label called Round Table, to which Electronica is signed. Kate was immediately taken aback by the U.S. born Electronica, as a friend describes it:

‘She is obsessed with this chap called Jay Electronica who is one of her clients. She is always on the phone to him and out  with him until four or five in the morning most nights. Sometimes she even stays with him.

Now the divorce part. Sexting was the culprit. Ben found some text exchanges between Kate and Jay, that has led to the current fiasco that is this blown up divorce to be. Police were called to their Notting Hill home (yes, fucking Notting Hill, priceless) to reprimand Ben for having “slapped her and having kicked a child toy at her”. Free now, he’s all business with the divorce, and apparently Kate is full on excited about moving forward with Jay. On May 21st he tweeted the following picture of her while tagging her in his tweet

Yesterday, he tweeted the following:

“Love”, it’s a crazy thing, you can have a billion dollars, but it can’t create or maintain the inexplicable connection that some of us choose to call amour. One last thing though, for a 5% who has a baby with Queen Badu, having a love affair with a billionaire white heiress from Notting Hill England is something to also talk about. You know me, race relations and love, horse and carriage.

Drankenstein Says “App”ly yourself!

Everyone has a Twitter account, thousands of “followers” and a Facebook account that has more spam than a Hawaiian lunch buffet. Remember when being on a new social network guranteed you some level of exposure, whether it be Reverb Nation, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, or countless others, if you played, you won a little. Those times are long gone, which is why I was so intrigued by Young Money rapper Short Dawg’s most recent attempt at exposing himself, creating a video game application for Google Play and the Apple Store; Drankenstein!

 The game is described as the following:

Join Short Dawg as he blasts through the crowded streets of Houston, capping gangsters and collecting his favorite purple beverage to transform into the invincible Drankenstein, smashing through cars with a rocket launcher and earning bonus cash! How fresh is your ride?

Yes, I know, it’s the worst application in the history of gaming applications, however, you do get to enjoy his soundtrack (if you like your money Young) during game play, and here’s the music sharing kicker, new tracks are downloaded right to your phone as you play. It ain’t rocket science, but it is music business science.

Still, you must like the music…

Pink Slime v. Casey Veggies

I know you want that meat, but you should stick with the Veggies. The pink slime is overrated. Don’t pad the pockets of the beef industry – instead, plant a garden and get that money.

Casey Veggies – Garden

Casey Veggies – Get That Money (Prod. By Polyester)



Action Bronson: Twitter Hate Crime? Just Tweeting around? Freedom of Speech? [UPDATE]

I was getting interviewed for a job this past year and everything was going well, my gut was celebrating, I had that in the bag, then, the question: “Can you tell me a little about your Twitter account?” Me? My Twitter account with its petty 500 something followers? My account that is my blogs identity more than it is mine? My Twitter account? Let’s just say it wasn’t “in tune” with that employers existential mantra, I was kindly thanked for coming in. Lesson learned. Everyone from professional athletes to politicians to high school teachers have suffered a similar fate, trial and execution by Twitter. When I loaded up my timeline this morning I was surprised to see a pretty controversial tweet with an accompanying Instagram picture from one of my favorite rappers out of NY, Action Bronson.

Granted, for a man who rocks the twitter handle “Gimme Dat Butt” as well as formerly “Young Uganda” among other outlandish monikers, it is by no means shocking to see the filter button off. However, the notion that he was compelled to tweet a picture of a “tranny” whom had just had water dumped on “its” head by his boy does raise eyebrows, mind that pun. As Twitter controversies go, there was a flurry of feedback and qualifications. Including the following few tweets:

The man stands behind his words, and hasn’t deleted any of the tweets or pictures, I commend him for that. You can follow the conversation here, many are hitting him with both positive and negative feedback, many of which he has chosen to retweet. Now many of you will say, this is not a story, just a blog looking for one. I suppose that’s the very question I am asking, is this a story? Suppose some backup guard on the Pacers drops a line about “trannies” in a random tweet this week, what type of repercussions would you expect? Clearly a reaction from the league, clearly a major news story with groups looking to lynch the culprit. Are rappers immune to said critique? Action B. is a likeable guy, I like him, you like him, many people consider him the current torch bearer for the NY rap game. It’ll be interesting to see who chimes in, but at least you know that you can. Free speech baby, free fucking speech.

UPDATE: Action Bronson shut down his Instagram.

Hot Sugar Tastes Weird Slash Impeccable

Producer extraordinaire Hot Sugar is one of the most outlandish characters I’ve been introduced too in my years of covering the web. He’s also one of the most talented producers I’ve stumbled across, it’s clear that though the aesthetic vanguard is riddled with chaos, this man dedicates himself to his craft, the dude shits fire. A quick look at his Tumblr page will show you exactly the type of unconventional taste I’m referring to, a quick listen to some of his tracks will show you why May 14th is a day to purchase some Moon Money with some earth money.

Random tidbit about this cover, via Hot Sugar, “the texture for the word Hot on Moon Money is my grandparents’ tombstone ^__^”

And here’s one of the most NSFW videos in the history of YouTube (after the jump of course.)

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Stop Biting My Zebra Meat

Just a couple Zebra related covers for projects I co-sign. I knew this zebra branding had legs back in ’07, glad to see it’s panning out for others. I’ll go to my grave knowing that the Big Sean cover was inspired by ZIF, period.  Uploaded tracks off all projects, but you should check them out in their entirety, simply click the respective zebras.

Sir Michael Rocks – Wassup

FOKN Bois be Sexin Islamic Girls

 

My homie Nana-Kofi over at our affiliate ASPECKS told me about M3nsa a long time ago, they hooked up some t-shirts for his last solo album. M3nsa’s collobarative effort with Wanlov the Kubolor (love these monikers) has been aptly titled the Fokn Bois’. For those of you familiar with Pidgin, the lyrics will hit home, for those of you who struggle with your acoustic diversity, peep these lyrics off the track:

WOKE UP EARLY IN THE A.M
MEGAPHONE CHANTING
WOT R DEY SAYIN?
IS HE PRAYIN OR PLAYIN?
ME DIER AM GOIN NOT STAYIN
HABIBA IS DAT HOW U R?
WEN WE BENT OVER DID U C OUR SHUA?
SAW YOR BOTTOS IN THE AIR
COULDN’T HELP IT
SO WE STARED

Yes, they are in the shock the shit out of you (if you are Nigerian or Muslim especially) business. That’s why I’m lining up what has to be my most anticpated interview yet for ZIF, I may have to have my translator stand by, but I will assuredly explore these guys more, as you should as well. You can start by YouTubing the world’s “1st Pidgin Musical”, titled, Coz Ov Moni and the respective soundtrack. Peep their interview with ASPECKS about that project and a clip from the “musical” after the jump. It’s Fokn great!

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